


a home no longer here

by RabbitKing (DJBunn3)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Gift Giving, Holidays, Homesickness, Memories, Valentine's Day, Voltron Valentine's Day Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-18 17:06:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13686027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DJBunn3/pseuds/RabbitKing
Summary: “Tell me more about your ‘holidays’.”“Well… there’s Christmas, which is a Christian holiday, but lots of non-Christian people celebrate it, too,” Shiro explains. “It’s the day an important religious figure was born, but it’s also a day for being together with your family and opening gifts and eating lots of food. There’s Earth Day, where we pick up litter and try not to make as much waste and stuff, and Thanksgiving’s the celebration of the Pilgrims, although I’m not so sure we should celebrate that, what with all the racism the Pilgrims showed the natives. Then there’s Easter, which is another religious holiday.”"What was your favorite?" Allura asks, looking interested.Shiro hesitates for a second. “Valentine’s Day was pretty fun,” he says. “I wouldn’t say it was my favorite, but it’s the only big one I haven’t talked about yet.”“What’s Valentine’s Day?” Allura asks.“It’s like the day of love,” Shiro explains. “A day to celebrate being with your friends, and your family, and your loved ones,” Shiro explains. “None of that romanticized pressure or anything. Just a day to think about the people that mean something to you.”“I like the idea of that,” Allura says softly.





	a home no longer here

**Author's Note:**

> For [artistbunbun](https://artistbunbun.tumblr.com/) for the Voltron Valentine's Day Exchange 2018 :)

Sometimes the paladins forget about Altea.

Not that they had anything to remember about it, exactly. It’s not like they’d ever been there, and the pictures Allura and Coran show them on the main screen in the lounge don’t look remarkably different than any of the other alien planets they’ve visited. Altea doesn’t hold any sentimental value to them--not the same way Earth does, at least.

So of course they mess up sometimes. They forget to be sensitive to Coran and Allura’s grief over their lost home, no matter how hard they try. Shiro’s willing to admit that he’s made that mistake once or twice, although not nearly as many times as the others. He knows what it’s like to be separated from his home, to think that he’ll never see it again. The guards that had been assigned to him back when he was a prisoner to the Galra weren’t exactly kind to him when the subject came up, either, so he knows what it feels like to hear those things.

Honestly, Keith is the worst when it comes to being sensitive. He doesn’t have a lot of strong connections to places--only people. So it’s no wonder he’s not as careful as, say, Lance. Pidge is a close second to Keith, and Hunk is somewhere between her and Lance. Shiro would probably place himself after Lance, if he were to make a list.

But like he said before, they  _ do _ forget more often than they should. Which is why, on a peaceful day at some mysterious area of the galaxy, he finds himself wishing they’d been just a  _ little _ more careful.

They’re in the middle of a meal when it happens. Coran had relented to Hunk’s demands and let him make a meal for once--a fact that everyone’s thankful for--and so their normal meal of food goo and alien juice has been replaced with savory coconut rice and alien vegetables. Lance is scarfing his food down like it’s his last meal, which isn’t pretty, nobody can really blame him considering Hunk’s cooking is delicious. Allura and Coran seem to think the same thing, if the praise they’re singing is any indication.

“Hunk, isn’t this the dish you made for Mother’s Day a few years ago?” Lance asks, his mouth stuffed with food. “You know, that day you told them you wanted to apply for the Garrison?”

“Was it?” Hunk replies absently, not bothering to look up. “Actually, you might be right. Huh.”

“What’s Mother’s Day?” Allura asks, her eyebrows drawn together in a frown. Coran looks equally confused.

“It’s like a day for kids to remind their moms that they love them,” Hunk explains, fork paused halfway between the plate and his mouth. “You know, make ‘em gifts and cards and stuff.”

“What a wonderful holiday!” Allura exclaims, clapping her hands together. “I wish we’d had something similar back on Altea.”

“You guys don’t have a Mother’s Day?” Pidge asks curiously. “Really?”

Coran shakes his head sadly. “We celebrated many holidays back on Altea, but none of them were quite like that.”

“But Mother’s Day is so important!” Lance exclaims. “It’s like, the one day my Mami gets to relax all year long.”

“Maybe Alteans are just generally more respectful than we are,” Shiro suggests. Considering the things he’d been witness to at his time in the Garrison, it wouldn’t be surprising.

“Yeah, but still,” Lance continues. “Being a mom is hard. I definitely couldn’t do it.”

“You can’t even keep a cactus alive,” Pidge retorts, rolling her eyes.

“Hey! I thought we agreed that wasn’t my fault!”

“I agree that mothers are very important,” Allura says, staring down at the last few grains of rice on her plate. “When my mother was alive, I didn’t appreciate her like I should have. I was young and foolish, and I never considered the fact that she might not be there for me someday.”

“That’s what teenagers are like on Earth, too,” Hunk says. Shiro’s shoulders slump; he wishes they would have let Allura keep talking about her mother instead of steering the conversation back to Earth. “We all try to be so independent, but we’d be totally lost without our parents. That’s why the holiday’s actually more important than it seems.”

“Hunk has two moms,” Lance explains, “so he’s got twice the amount of pressure on him when it’s Mother’s Day.”

“But no stress on Father’s Day,” Keith adds. “That’s a plus.”

“Huh. I actually never thought of that,” Hunk says.

Shiro glances towards the end of the table, where Allura is still staring down at her mostly empty plate. She’s got a look of melancholy on her face that hadn’t been there a minute before, and she doesn’t seem to be paying attention to the conversation. He wishes he could steer the conversation away from Mother’s Day before it goes somewhere deeper, but Hunk and Lance seem to be too far into the subject already.

“I never did any of that stuff,” Keith says casually, although Shiro knows he’s just trying to come off as cool and mysterious in front of his friends. “Seems just as useless as Valentine’s Day.”

“What?! Valentine’s Day is like, the most exciting holiday!” Lance argues.

“Plus you can get cheap chocolate on the fifteenth,” Pidge adds.

“And teddy bears,” Hunk supplies.

“Sure, yeah, but it’s so commercial. I bet the aliens don’t celebrate it, either.”

Everyone turns to Allura and Coran curiously. Coran seems engrossed in the conversation and immediately starts asking questions, but Allura remains quiet and distant while the paladins answer. Shiro sighs, looking over the table of friends regretfully. Hearing about the paladins’ families, their home and their traditions, must be pretty hard on the Alteans, who don’t have any of that stuff anymore. And while Coran is older and does a better job of hiding his feelings (although Shiro swears he can hear a tremor in the older man’s voice), Allura isn’t quite as skilled at masking her emotions.

Pidge, Keith, Hunk, and Lance continue to talk about holidays with Coran, and everyone is so engrossed in the conversation that they barely even notice Allura excusing herself from the table. Shiro watches as she heads towards her room, then glances back at the table. Pidge and Lance are making a list of their favorite holidays on a stray napkin while Hunk, Keith, and Coran watch, criticize, and ask questions.

Quietly, he pushes his chair back and follows after Allura.

* * *

The Princess is nowhere to be found in the halls, but Shiro suspects she’d probably gone to her room. He hesitates outside her door, wondering if he should give her some time alone instead of interrupting her, but he makes up his mind when he remembers the expression she’d worn at the dining table. Allura and Coran have had to carry the memories of their people by themselves since they woke up; maybe it would be nice for them to have someone to talk to for once.

He knocks twice, then steps back, waiting. After a second, the doors hiss open, inviting him inside.

Allura’s room is spacious, but surprisingly empty. A large bed sits in the middle, and there are little nightstands on either side. There are no windows, but long, pale slits in the ceiling let light into the room. Shiro wonders if she’d grown up in this castle, or if it had been more of a second home to her. He realizes with a start that he really doesn’t know much about Allura’s past that doesn’t involve Voltron or the Galra.

“Shiro?” Allura says questioningly, looking up. She’s standing in front of an old wooden vanity, the mirror covered with pieces of paper. “Did you need something?”

“I came to check on you,” Shiro explains, taking a few steps inside. “You seemed upset at dinner.”

“Oh.” Allura stares down at the ground nervously. “I’m alright,” she says with a false laugh. “Don’t worry about me.”

“Princess, with all due respect, I don’t believe that for a second.”

Allura sighs, her smile dropping. “I’m not upset, exactly,” she says. “I’m just… tired. I miss my home.”

“I’m sorry that we weren’t more sensitive,” Shiro says quickly. “I know it sounds terrible, but sometimes it’s hard to remember that you and Coran lost your home, with everything going on around us.”

“It’s not terrible,” Allura reassures him. “There’s no need to apologize. I’m glad Lance brought up Mother’s Day. It was an interesting topic.”

“But it upset you,” Shiro points out. Allura frowns.

“Not the topic itself. Just the memory of what it used to be like, back on Altea. It’s still hard to think about sometimes, even after all these years.” Allura looks up at him as she takes a seat on her bed, her expression wistful. “I love having you and the other paladins here on the ship. Without you all, we never could have made it this far. But sometimes I wish there was someone here who understands what I mean when I say-”

When the Princess doesn’t continue, Shiro takes a seat next to her on the bed. “When you say you want to go home?” he suggests gently.

“Exactly.” Allura smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Earth is home to the paladins. I know they miss it, especially Lance, and I know it’s hard for them to be away… but it’s not the same.”

Shiro nods. He doesn’t know what Allura’s been through--none of them do--but he can sort of imagine. “I know it must be hard,” he says, setting a hand on Allura’s shoulder comfortingly.

“It is,” Allura admits. “Especially now that my father is gone, too. I’m afraid of forgetting my home and my family, and the mice aren’t exactly amazing conversationalists. Coran is here, which is a blessing, but he’s not always the easiest to sit down and talk with, either. I just feel like I’m… alone. Is that terrible?”

“It’s not,” Shiro promises, turning to face her. “Of course you would feel that way. I’m sorry we haven’t been there for you.”

“You’ve all been wonderful,” Allura says, setting her hand on top of his on her shoulder. “Thank you for coming to check on me, Shiro.”

“Of course, Princess,” Shiro replies. “I know it’s not as good as having other Alteans on the ship with you, but I’m always here if you want to talk.”

“Thank you,” Allura says, smiling gently. “I’d like that.”

They sit in pleasant silence for a minute, just enjoying each others’ company. Shiro’s just about to excuse himself when Allura speaks up again.

“Do you… really have a day for celebrating mothers?” she asks hesitantly, like she’s not completely convinced that Lance didn’t just make that up. Shiro cracks a grin.

“We actually do,” he says.

“And one for fathers, too?”

“Yeah,” Shiro answers with a laugh. “We’ve got a holiday for everything. It must sound kind of ridiculous, huh?”

“No, it’s nice,” Allura replies. “Tell me more about your ‘holidays’.”

“Well… there’s Christmas, which is a Christian holiday, but lots of non-Christian people celebrate it, too,” Shiro explains. “It’s the day an important religious figure was born, but it’s also kind of a day for being together with your family and opening gifts and eating a lot of food.”

“We had a day for celebrating food and a few days for celebrating religion,” Allura says. “But we never put the two together. It sounds nice, though.”

“It is,” Shiro says, smiling.

“What else is there?”

“There’s Earth Day, where we pick up litter and try not to make as much waste and stuff, and Thanksgiving’s the celebration of the Pilgrims, although I’m not so sure we  _ should _ celebrate that, what with all the racism the Pilgrims showed the natives. Then there’s Easter, which is another religious holiday. Adults hide plastic eggs filled with candy for the kids to find, and there are usually stuffed animals.”

“Like hunting trophies?” Allura asks, baffled. Shiro chuckles.

“No, more like cute toys made out of fabric and stuffing.”

“How odd,” Allura says. “And they were for the children? Did they speak?”

“The creepy ones did.”

“Why would you give a child a ‘creepy’ stuffed animal?”

“Beats me,” Shiro says. “I never understood Easter.”

“What holidays  _ did _ you understand?” Allura asks, looking interested. “What was your favorite?”

Shiro hesitates for a second. Talking about holidays was what got them into this mess in the first place, after all. But Allura seems to enjoy hearing about their customs, so maybe it’s working as a distraction.

“Valentine’s Day was pretty fun,” he says. “I wouldn’t say it was my favorite, but it’s the only big one I haven’t talked about yet.”

“What’s Valentine’s Day?” Allura asks. “I remember Lance and Keith talking about it earlier, but I didn’t know what it was.”

“It’s like the day of love,” Shiro explains. “It’s this big commercial holiday where you’re pressured to go out and buy chocolate and gifts and confess to people and go on fancy dates and stuff. Back on Earth we called it a Hallmark holiday.”

“If it’s so commercial, why do people celebrate it?”

Shiro sighs. “Because people are hopeless romantics. They buy into it every year.”

“It doesn’t sound like a very nice holiday,” Allura says, frowning.

“Well, it’s really not,” Shiro says. “But if you celebrate it the right way, it can be.”

“What’s the right way to celebrate it?” Allura asks curiously.

“I think it’s a good day to celebrate being with your friends, and your family, and your loved ones,” Shiro explains. “None of that romanticized pressure or anything. Just a day to think about the people that mean something to you.”

“I like the idea of that,” Allura says softly. “We had several days of love on Altea, but as you said, they were filled with pressure and stress. I think it would be nicer if everyone celebrated the way you do.”

“So do I,” Shiro agrees. They sit there a while longer, until Coran comes in search of Allura and Shiro leaves to give them some space.

* * *

A few weeks pass. They attack a Galra base, take it out successfully, and start planning their attack on the next one. Hunk gives everyone haircuts, Coran gives everyone new nicknames, and Pidge gives everyone headaches when she accidentally sets off the castle’s emergency system for a good two hours. Shiro’s almost forgotten about his conversation with Allura, although he does try to be more conscious around her and check up on her more.

Currently, he’s in the training room with Hunk and Keith, working out a new plan of attack for a particularly tricky room in the next Galra base. Lance and Pidge are directing them from the control room above, along with Allura and Coran.

“Hunk, left!” Allura yells. Hunk spins to the left, only to crash into one of the temporary walls they’d put up to mimic the layout of the Galra room. Keith sighs, and Shiro holds out a hand to help the yellow paladin up.

“Want to try again?” he asks, patting Hunk on the back.

“I think I need a break, man,” Hunk replies, rubbing his temple. “We’ve been at this for an hour and we’re still not making any progress.”

“Maybe you and I should switch out with Pidge and Lance when we start again,” Keith suggests, walking with Hunk out of the room.

Shiro watches them go, then glances up at the control room. Pidge and Lance have retreated to join the others, and the Alteans have disappeared as well.

He sighs again, wipes sweat off his brow, and turns towards the door. It looks like “take a break” actually means “end training for the day”, which he can’t honestly complain about. The paladins have improved a lot since they first arrived at the castle, and things are looking up in terms of the war.

The door hisses open before he reaches the sensor, and Allura walks in, holding something behind her back. “Oh, Shiro! There you are,” she says, smiling. “I was looking for you.”

“Princess,” Shiro responds, dipping his head respectfully. “Can I help you with something?”

“Actually, I have something for you,” Allura explains. “It’s really not much, but…”

From behind her back, she produces a box wrapped in silverish foil, with a soft pink bow on top. Shiro stares down at it, then looks up at Allura.

“What’s this?” he asks, taking the box from her. It’s heavier than he was expecting, the bottom of the box bending a little with the weight. Allura clears her throat, prompting him to look up again.

“It’s for Volvings Day,” Allura explains, shifting nervously. “I can’t believe I forgot to tell you about it earlier. It’s like the Valentine’s Day you described, only celebrated in the ‘right way’. And it’s today, and I just happened to remember, so…”

Allura gestures to the package with an awkward wave of her hand. Shiro looks down at it again, runs his hand over the smooth, reflective paper before carefully lifting up one corner. The top of the box slides off easily to reveal an intricately woven purple-pink bracelet resting on top of a silver picture frame. He picks up the bracelet, turning it over in his hands carefully as he examines the details.

“I made it myself,” Allura says. “My mother was always insistent that I learn how to tie strong knots. She liked to take me climbing on the rock cliffs of Altea.”

Shiro smiles. Allura’s been talking about Altea more and more since their conversation in her room, and it seems to be getting easier for her. Everyone else seems to notice the change in her as well, but none of them say anything about it, which is probably for the best.

“Thank you, Allura,” he says, slipping the bracelet onto his hand. It’s light, the fibers soft against his skin, and the color seems to glow softly around the edges.

“That’s not all,” Allura says, gesturing to the box again. Shiro looks down and blinks in surprise.

Inside the silver frame is a picture of the paladins, Allura, and Coran, standing outside the castle with proud smiles on their faces. Shiro recognizes it as the picture an alien had taken of them on the day they rescued their first planet from the Galra. He hadn’t realized that Allura had kept a copy.

“You framed it?” he says, lifting the picture out of the box. The frame had been what was so heavy, he realizes. It’s made of a dense material and the hue of the reflective surface shifts in the light, reminding him of the rivers of Altea that Allura had described to him.

“Of course,” Allura replies softly. “I don’t keep many pictures of Altea around me, even though I have a few. They only remind me of what I’ve lost, and I’m not ready to think about that yet. But when I look at this picture, I don’t see loss or sadness. I see the family I’ve gained, the adventures I’ve had, and the memories I’ve made along the way. It reminds me that there’s a reason to keep fighting.”

Allura looks at him with shining eyes, her face glowing with joy. “Sometimes it’s hard,” she says. “But the picture’s here to remind me, and so are you. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Shiro smiles at her, gripping the frame tightly. “Thank you, Allura,” he says genuinely. “I mean it.”

* * *

Sometimes the paladins forget about Altea.

Not that they had anything to remember about it, exactly. It’s not like they’d ever been there, and the pictures Allura and Coran show them on the main screen in the lounge don’t look remarkably different than any of the other alien planets they’ve visited. Altea doesn’t hold any sentimental value to them--not the same way Earth does, at least.

Except now, Shiro  _ does _ know what Altea is like. He knows about the rainbow colored streams, the fish with feathers, the gorgeous, rolling hills covered in pink and purple flowers. He knows about the beautiful, ice-like crystal cliffs Allura’s mother used to take her rock climbing on, and the adorable creatures that Allura compares to the mice. Altea might not hold sentimental value to him, but it certainly does to their princess, and if that’s not a good enough reason to learn more, then he doesn’t know what is.

He twists the pink-purple bracelet around his wrist carefully, and smiles.


End file.
